Reviews

Poseidon (George)

Let me begin by saying I liked this movie better when it was called “The Poseidon Adventure” in 1972. Why is that Hollywood feels they need to make a perfectly good film “better”? The easy answer is money. If you sucker enough people to see an established film, again, then that is just more money in some coffers of Hollywood big wigs.

So the question is, “should I see this remake?” Honestly you are not missing too much if you decide against it. I will admit there were some spills and thrills and a whole lot of water, but the film is very light on story, character development, and even less plot than the beloved predecessor.
Now this may be a blessing for those of you into cinematic brevity, but there is very little set-up at the beginning of this film. The original gave a reason why a wave, though quite large, could topple over a massive ship (it was a lack of full ballast tanks, which keep the ship from tipping over). This reason is gone from the new version. Also gone are any and all characters from the original. No rogue priests, no whiny cops with their prostitute wives, and no swimming Shelly Winters. What we do have is a former New York mayor (Kurt Russell) with his daughter and her boyfriend, a good card shark (Josh Lucas) and a bad card shark (Kevin Dillon), a single mother (“MTV Real World: London” alum Jacinda Barrett) and her son in tow, a recently jilted gay man (Richard Dreyfuss) and a stow away (Mia Maestro, from TV’s “Alias”). Some of the character’s archetypes from the original do still exist. Lucas and Russell do share the Hackman Borgnine dynamic and duties, but now with less bickering.

That is one thing that is missing from this remake. Though all of these survivors share the same predicament, for some odd reason all of them get along quite well for being total strangers. I mean when I am scared out of my mind and in a perilous situation I totally love to hang with people I don’t know and certainly trust them to no end with my life.

The dynamic of the original cast was that there were different types of people, with different backgrounds and definitely different age groups. With the exception of Dreyfuss (who was in great shape) and Russell, all the other cast members young hotties. There is also no bickering and no real drama between anyone. There is some very superfluous drama between cast members, but you feel nothing and wonder to yourself who dies next. That is another unfortunate detail, low body count. OK, you got a whole lot of people who buy it when the ship overturns, but hardly anyone dies who has a speaking part beyond 3 lines. The “big sacrifice” does still happen (I won’t give away who), but the shock and sorrow factor are gone. As a matter of fact I found it mildly confusing, “was this person dead or not?” I’m sorry, but when Hackman dies in the original, I cared and was shocked. Here was the films main protagonist, and he is killed.

It is truly a crime that story, character, and plot are sacrificed and all there is to replace it are computer generated effects that are severely lacking. For God’s sake the opening scene is entirely fake with the exception of ONE ACTOR! Is this what we are left with in Hollywood? Are we meant to forgo the elements of storytelling just to propel crappy effects and stunts? Do we really need to soil the name of perfectly good films just to make a buck, or can they just come up with some kind of original idea, just enough not to get sued, and make a film of a similar nature? Or is it true that Hollywood has run out of creativity? Do yourself a favor, dear film consumer, and send Hollywood a stronger message than you did last year and not support junk like this. Save your 8-10 dollars on a proper film or at least a better executed remake.
4.5/10
George Buehler